LL COACHING

Love Life... Hate Procrastination...

2011-02-01T11:46:00.000Z

So the first month of 2011 has come and gone. How have the first 31 days of the year been for you so far? How are you doing with those resolutions and goals you set at the start of the year? Let me guess - broken, a distant memory or hanging on in there by the skin of your teeth?

Well don't despair, January is one of the most challenging months of the year. Christmas debt, extra long wait for pay day, extremely cold weather and this year a large increase in the cost of living. So with all these things to think about, it's not surprising your will to stick to your New Year's Resolutions is struggling. This is normal of all goals, not just New Year's Resolutions. Whether we like it or not, life goes on and things happen to challenge us day in and day out. Set backs and failure are two huges factors in achieving goals. They are there to test our will and determination as well as to encourage us to stretch our imagination and think creatively.

One of the biggest challenges people face when working towards their goals is PROCRASTINATION. Procrastination makes you feel like you making progress initially because it involves being busy, however it actually stops you from making progress over time because although you are busy, you are busy doing things that take you away from achieving your goals, not closer. Procrastination is the difference between being busy and being productive. Procrastination shows up for many reasons: maybe you are not committed to your goal, you are not clear about your goal, you have no plan, you are fearful (failure, success, work involved, etc) or you hit an obstacle and don't know how to move forward or who to ask for help.

In order to overcome procrastination and get back on track with your goals, do the following:

Identify all the things that keep you "busy" and ask yourself if they are taking you towards your goals or away from them
Identify the time of day or week you make yourself "busy"
Ask yourself how you feel about your goals and whether or not you are fully committed to achieving them - if you are not, then re-evaluate your goals and ask yourself why you originally set them and what outcome you was hoping for
If you are fully committed to your goals, write them down (again if you have already done so) and put them somewhere where you will see them every day.
Put together a plan of who, why, what and when:

WHAT actions you need to take and WHAT obstacles/challenges you may face
WHEN you need to take the actions
WHO you can support you in achieving your goals
WHY you want to achieve your goals - what will they give you?

Another reason for procrastination is boredom. For many goals, in order to achieve them, you are required to dedicate a large amount of your time and effort to them. Like a lot things in life, when you spend most of your time doing them, over time boredom sets in. As the saying goes "variety is the spice of life", therefore it is not only important to be passionate about your goals, but also to give yourself a break from your goals every now and then.

Make a list of all the things you love to do then schedule time in your plan to do something you love on a regular basis. It could be drawing for an hour a day or day a week, going to a football match/concert/show once a month, eating out once a month or whatever it is that makes you happy. By including it in your plan, not only will it ensure you do take time out to do things you enjoy, it also means you can enjoy your time fully without feeling guilty that you are not working towards your goals. Even if you are totally passionate about the goals you are pursuing, it is still important to schedule time out to do other things to give your mind breathing space and the opportunity to be inspired.

So don't worry if you haven't made much progress on your goals, every day is the start of something new and remember every goal involves set backs. However, set backs make you stronger and stretch your imagination.

Have a great month!

Love Live Life

The End is Near... Apparently.

2011-01-25T16:04:00.000Z

Recently I have been hearing mumblings of that ancient Mayan prediction that the world will come to an end in 2012. Some people wholeheartedly believe the prediction whilst most think it's a joke, completely laugh it off and usually comment on those who believe it as though they have a screw (or two) loose. I don't believe or disbelieve it. The world as we know it today will certainly no longer exist in 2012 because change is inevitable, 2 years is a long time so it is safe to assume the world will be very different. Secondly, I have no idea how the world came to be therefore I have no idea how or when it will come to an end so there is every possibility it will end in 2012. There is also the possibility it will end today, tomorrow, next week or next month.

This got me thinking. What if we went with the notion that the world will end in 2012 and set about fulfilling all our dreams and achieving all our goals in the same way we would if we knew for certain the world was ending on the 31st December 2012. A common question coaches ask clients is what would you do if you only had a 6 months to live. Well what would you do if you really did only have 2 years left to live? What would you do differently today? I am not for one minute suggesting you pack up your job and spend all your life savings. However, if your ultimate dream involves the two things, I am suggesting you seriously look at what you want and put together a plan to make it happen.

Living in such a materialistic society, many of us automatically assume fulfilling our dreams and achieving our goals will involve huge amounts of money and spending our life savings. However when we really become aware of our own mortality and are actually given a short period of time to live, the material things become much less significant. We are much more likely to want to do things like spend quality time with friends and family, read a classic novel, visit a particular sight or country, learn a skill, etc. All things that don't actually have to involve much money.

So how about, just for fun, you imagine the world really will end on 31st December 2012. Think about all the things you'd like to do, see and experience (not have) before then - big and small - make a list and spend the next 23 months working towards achieving and fulfilling your goals and dreams. And if the world doesn't end in 2012 you will have achieved and fulfilled so many more things than you would have if you just took it for granted that you have another 10, 20 or even 50 years left to live!

Here are some of my ideas to get you started:

- Visit Egypt and see all the major sights
- Tour Italy in the Spring/Summer months
- Work and live abroad for at least 3 months
- Read every Jane Austen novel
- Sky dive
- Visit Africa
- Learn to speak Spanish well enough to have a conversation
- Watch a sunset and sunrise on a beach in a hot country (not necessarily on the same day)
- Learn to meditate
- See a show on Broadway
- Publish a book

Finally, here are some Dos and Don'ts for your list:

- Don't filter your list, write everything that comes to you (feel free to use pictures also)
- Do make sure you have enough on your list to keep you going for the next 23 months
- Do make sure you have a good mix of small totally achievable goals as well as "stretch" goals that you're not sure how you could possibly achieve them in the next 23 months
- Do make sure you put your list somewhere you can see it regularly
- Do make sure regularly check your progress and tick things off as you achieve them.
- Do keep a journal and put an entry for every goal you achieve

So there you go, time to start your list. You better get going, the countdown to 2012 has begun! ;)

Love Live Life

Never Leave Positive Words Unsaid...

2011-01-21T09:10:00.001Z

... or positive deeds undone.

Last night I heard the tragic news of a 15 year old boy stabbed to death outside his school. I then found out that he was a pupil of my friend's husband which brought it even closer to home. For the rest of the night I could not stop thinking about that poor boy's parents and family and kept thinking, I hope they had no regrets. I hope let him know every day how they felt about him and he knew how much he was loved.

We live in a world where there is so much tragedy and negativity and although we have the power to inject so much positivity, most of us act as though we are powerless. Unfortunately too many of us get caught up in the stresses and negativity in life and we are too tired or worn out to focus on the positive and important things we have in our lives. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us, yet so many of us act as if we have been given a lifetime guarantee and therefore put important things off until tomorrow and before we know it, nature takes it course or some tragedy happens and it's too late.

The funny thing is, it's small things that matter and make a huge difference. Telling some you love them. Giving some a call or sending them a message to let them know you're thinking of them. Complimenting someone on something they did well or something they're good at. All these things take less than a minute yet so many of us fail to make time to do it. It is said, especially about the phrase "I Love You" that when said to many times it becomes meaningless. I beg to differ. If you say something with sincerity every day and the person you are telling you feels that love and you're actions are in line with your words, the feeling of love will be felt. I'd bet everything I own to say that no-one ever died thinking they told the people they loved that they loved them too many times. I'm also sure that the family they leave behind wished they'd told that person they loved them a million times more.

Life can be challenging and horrible stuff happens day after day so do whatever you can to ensure you're spreading love and positivity every single day. Happiness is contagious and when you tell someone something nice or do something nice for someone and they appreciate it, it automatically leaves you feeling better about life.

So never leave positive words unsaid and positive deeds undone because tomorrow is promised to no-one.

Love Live Life

New's Resolutions - Tips For Staying On Track

2010-12-14T23:09:00.000Z

This blog is a continuation of the article in this month's LL Coaching Newsletter. The newsletter discusses 5 common reasons why people do not achieve their new year's resolution and below are a few more tips to help to increase your chances of success:

Treat yourself: Whatever your resolution, make sure you build in a reward structure. If you have achieved or exceeded a small goal or target as part of your overall resolution do something to reward your progress. It can be something as simple as your favourite chocolate bar, going out for drinks or something more extravagant such as booking a holiday. The reward is to acknowledge your efforts and can act as motivation to continue working towards achieving your overall resolution.
Make it as fun as possible and try different things: Automatically when someone mentions losing weight, most of our initial thoughts are going to the gym or going on a diet. Nowadays there are many different activities you can take part in that do not even involve a tracksuit! What works for one person does not necessarily work for another.
Get a buddy or "cheerleader": If possible, join forces with someone else who has a similar resolution. Not only will they act as motivation, they are more likely to congratulate you on your progress than you are yourself.
Be kind to yourself: It is inevitable that you will suffer setbacks. This could be due to working late, family commitments, illness, other commitments, etc. Life carries on despite having set yourself a resolution so accept it and move on. If you don't exercise one day because you have a cold, or you break your eating plan for a friend's birthday dinner or you just don't feel like it one day, don't beat yourself up. Just accept it for what it is and get back on track immediately so you do not lose momentum. Once you start beating yourself up, you feel bad which makes you less motivated to continue and has a tendency to make you ignore all the progress you have made up to that point.
Keep a diary: This will act as a great motivator reflecting your progress. It will also help on those days where you lack motivation or when you are tempted to beat yourself up about a minor set back.
Be happy: Finally, first and foremost, the most important thing about life is to enjoy it. So if giving something up or making a change is actually going to make you more miserable over 12 months than continuing then you have to ask yourself is it worth it and what the likelihood of sticking to it is. Don't fall into the trap of conforming to what the media and society prescribe as the "perfect" life. In my opinion, there is no such thing as perfect but to get as near to that as possible, it ultimately means being happy with yourself and your life for as many days of the year as possible.

NB: If you do not subscribe to the LL Coaching Newsletter but would like to receive it, send an email to info@llcoaching.co.uk and ask to subscribe to the mailing list.

Become the Master of Your Fate and Captain of Your Soul

2010-11-25T13:47:00.001Z

I recently came across the quote "I am the Master of my Fate, I am the Captain of my Soul" by the English poet W.C. Henley and thought how appropriate it was to my newly acquired perception of life. It is so true. We have the power to do and create absolutely anything we want in life. If you were living fearlessly what would you be doing right now? Would you continue to live the life you are currently living? If the answer is no, the next question is what are you afraid of? If you are not happy with the life you are currently living then change it. Yes it really is that simple. I am not saying that the changes are instant and that you can make the decision to change your life today and tomorrow you will be living your "ideal" life, however, the moment you are totally honest with yourself and admit that you are not happy and make a conscious commitment to create the life you truly want, is the moment your life starts to change. It has been said that if you keep doing what you always do, you will always get what you've always had so if you're not happy with your life right now, when was the last time you did something different? When was the last time you committed to trying a new way?

Once you are honest with yourself and make the commitment to creating the life you truly want, the next thing to ask yourself is what is the life I truly want? Most of us live our life and measure our success or happiness based on other people's perception of success and happiness. Most of us don't even know what we enjoy doing let alone what would make us truly happy. All most of us know is what our parents, teachers, friends, family and the media have told us and what they have in fact told us over the years is their own perception of life based on what their parents, teachers, friends, family and the media have told them. None of it is fact or fiction. It is just their opinion and perception that is based on someone else's perception or opinion. Think about how social "issues" and taboos that were once totally unacceptable in so many people's opinions have now become acceptable. Thinking about this do you want to put something off today because it is "unacceptable" in someone else's opinion knowing that in 6 months, a year or maybe even ten that that same thing could become "acceptable"? The truth is it shouldn't even matter. If you want to do something - just go do it, or at least consider the possibilities. Don't dismiss it as "unacceptable" or unattainable just because someone else says so. Be warned also that that "someone else" could be your own voice. Too often it is our own voice of doubt that keeps us paralysed in a life we unhappy with for fear of failure, rejection and so many other fears. Yes these things are all possible but if failure and rejection are possible, so are the opposites - success and acceptance. So next time you want to do something and you think of all the reasons why you can't or shouldn't or you hear all the voices saying it's not acceptable or attainable, just focus on the flip side to that because the flip side is just as much of a possibility. None of it is fact, it is all perception and opinion.

So start today. Become the Captain of your Soul by completely understanding what truly fulfills you and makes you happy and become the Master of your Fate by taking action, becoming open to the possibilities and creating the life you really want.

Love Live Life

Rediscover Your Dormant Skills

2010-11-16T13:05:00.000Z

When considering a career change one of the first things people think about is what skills they have. Most people will think about their skills in the context of the job they currently do, perhaps the skills used in a previous job and possibly skills used in a hobby. Many people fail to look at skills they have that they may have used years ago or that they only get the opportunity to use occasionally. Taking the time to consider ALL your skills will open up many more options for a career change. Think about hobbies you've done in the past, activities you've been involved in, ALL the jobs you have done - even going back to the paper round or Saturday job you first had. Also consider things you do at home and in your everyday life. Are you the person in your house that does all the DIY jobs and puts together all the flat-pack furniture? If so, it's likely that you are a very logical person who is able to follow instructions. Are you the person in your household that manages the finance? Are the household finance always in order and do you have savings? If so, this means you are good a managing finance. Yes it may not be a multi-million pound budget but this in itself is a skill because not everyone is able to do it, otherwise there would be no debt.

- Look past the everyday tasks you currently do: Many people are in jobs that only utilise a fraction of their skill set and if you are considering a career change, chances are you are one of them and you are feeling frustrated because you are not able to use all of your skills in a way that you would like.

- Try new things: As children we used to try new things all the time and different ways of doing things. However as we get older we fear change, failure and looking "silly" so we are much less willing to try new things. Trying new things can help to discover or even rediscover skills and talents that have lay dormant for many years.

- Ask other people: Often other people will see things in us that we do not see ourselves. There are so many things we do on "auto-pilot" or that are just part of our nature that we don't actually see them as a skill. Ask friends, family and colleagues what they think your skills are.

Once you have done these things you should have a much clearer picture of what your skills are and then you can move on to see what careers would best utilise your skill set.

Love Live Life

FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real

2010-11-16T12:40:00.000Z

"So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance." ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

I have just started reading The 50th Law by 50 Cent and Robert Greene (author of The Art of Seduction, The 33 Strategies of War and The 48 Laws of Power). Now immediately some of you may switch off at the mention of 50 Cent as you may only know him as a "gangsta rapper" who has been shot 9 times. However, what many don't realise is that 50 Cent is an extremely successful business man who simply used music a stepping stone to achieve his ultimate vision of success.

The book forms a sort of extension to Greene's book The 48 Laws of Power. In the foreword, Greene says "While writing about the various players in history, I developed the theory that the source of their success could almost always be traced to one single skill or unique quality that separated them from others. For Napoleon, it was his remarkable ability to absorb a massive amount of detail and organize it in his mind. This allowed him to almost always know more that his rival generals about what was going on. After observing Fifty and talking to him about his past, I decided that the source of his power is his utter fearlessness."

I have only read the first 2 chapters and already I am looking at fear completely differently. Greene explains that despite living in a world that is safer now than it ever has been, so many of us live in fear. However it is not the kind of fear that we as humans are supposed to experience. It is fear that has been "manufactured" over the years. As humans we experience fear when faced with an immediate threat or danger (such as being face to face with a lion) and this is a natural instinct we have that enables us to protect ourselves. Over time we have also developed a different kind of fear that is based on what might happen - fear of failure, fear of loss, fear of standing out from the crowd, etc. and unlike the fear we experience when faced with an immediate threat or danger - take action fight or flight), this "manufactured" fear paralyses us and keeps us locked in an invisible prison scared to do anything, just in case.

It is no coincidence that the people who become extremely successful have all faced and overcome some type of extreme adversity in their lives. I was already aware of this commonality between successful people and often wondered if it meant that unless you had experienced extreme adversity, you did not have the right "stuff" to become successful. However, in the book Greene says "Understand: you do not have to grow up in Southside Queens or be the target of an assassin to develop the attitude. All of us face challenges, rivals, and setbacks. We choose to ignore or avoid them out of fear. It is not the physical reality of your environment that matters but your mental state, how you come to deal with the adversity that is part of life on every level. Fifty had to confront his fears; you must choose to."

This to me is extremely powerful as I had never looked at it that way. I already knew that success in life was dependent on your attitude and state of mind. What I did not realise is how we are constantly conditioned to be fearful and that the fear I experience when striving for success is actually manufactured. All you need to do is look at the news headlines to see how we are regularly conditioned to fear possible negative outcomes. We are never conditioned to think boldly and fearlessly or encouraged to go against the masses and embrace our individuality. I do however see it from both sides. If everyone acted as an individual and everyone was bold and fearless, it would be impossible to control the masses. However what you need to ask yourself is whether you are happy following the masses or do you have a burning desire, goal or dream that you wish to fulfill. If success is what you aspire to achieve then it is necessary to become bold and develop an attitude of fearlessness and in order to do this you must put yourself in situations that force you to face your "manufactured" fears in order to see them for what they are and overcome them.

So if you are on a journey pursuing your goals and dreams and you are faced with an obstacle or setback, embrace it and think of it as an opportunity to develop your attitude of fearlessness and strengthen your mental state.

"The greatest fear people have is that of being themselves. They want to be 50 Cent or someone else. They do what everyone else does even if it doesn't fit where and who they are. But you get nowhere that way; your energy is weak and no one pays attention to you. You're running away from the one thing that you own - what makes you different. I lost that fear. And once I felt the power that I had by showing the world I didn't care about being like other people, I could never go back." ~ 50 Cent

Love Live Life

The Social Network - You Snooze You Lose

2010-11-06T18:52:00.000Z

As you may have read in my previous blog, this week I went to the cinema to watch the film The Social Network. It was very good and not only did I learn a lot about the social media site I use several times a day, the film also highlighted a couple of lessons about achieving success.

The "founder" of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg took what was "allegedly" someone else's idea and turned it into the most popular social networking site on the planet and consequently turned himself into the youngest ever billionaire! For me what this highlighted was that whether or not it was originally his idea, he took a concept, worked on it and DID NOT give up. So many people have ideas but do not do what it takes to make it past the conception phase. Some stop at the first hurdle, others stop after the first 100, 1000 or even 10,000 hurdles, whereas successful people do not stop until their dream becomes a reality and that is what Mark Zuckerberg did.

Based on the story told through the film, granted the way he went about things some may not agree with, however the point is that he had a vision of what he wanted to achieve and he did not give up. He also had a reason for wanting to achieve his dream which drove him to continue against all odds and overcome all the hurdles that came his way. From what I could tell from the film, his reason was to gain approval from an ex-girlfriend and ultimately for most of us, it is never about the material things our dream or goal will give us (although becoming a billionaire doesn't sound so bad to me!), it's always about an underlying desire we have. For some this may be to be accepted, for others it may be to feel loved or significant and for some it may to provide a more secure life for their loved ones.

So the moral of the story I took from the film, is in order to achieve your goal or dream, you need to do 2 things:

1. Identify the underlying feeling that you are looking to fulfil. Identify the overall motivation for achieving your dream or goal. This requires you to be totally honest with yourself.
2. Take action and keep going no matter how many obstacles come your way. When the obstacles come, because they will, always ask yourself HOW you can overcome them, never IF you'll overcome them or worst still, why they're there in the first place! Obstacles are there to challenge and grow us.

Love Live Life

Change Is Inevitable

2010-11-06T18:26:00.000Z

This week I went to the cinema with my mum to watch The Social Network, which in itself was strange because my mum is dead against Facebook and all other social networking sites/tools. This is probably due to the fact that my sixteen year old sister has spent probably the past 4 years or so totally hooked to MSN and Myspace, moving onto Facebook and now more recently Twitter and Blackberry Messenger and trying to get her to see the benefits of studying and face to face communication over socialising online with everyone and anyone on the planet has been challenging to say the least!

The interesting and surprising outcome of the evening was that once the film was over my mum was buzzing with allsorts of ideas which were all variations of or based on the concept of the same social networking sites/apps she was so dead against before the film started. She began to ask me all about Facebook and it's functionality. For me, this was a perfect example of what happens to many of us, especially the older we get. We get used to and comfortable with what we know and over time we become reluctant to try new and different ways of doing things. We also lose the ability to see things in an objective way and we judge things by our own experience and compare them to the what we are used to. Many of us get used to a mindset where we only see the negatives in things that we are not familiar with and do not even take the time to look at them to make a fair honest judgement.

There are many reasons for this but most of them can be summed up into two - fear of change and fear of the unknown. However as we all know, other than death, the one other thing we can be all be certain of is change. Whether or not we want or like it, change is inevitable. In order to make progress and have continued success in life it is essential to embrace and be open to new thoughts, opinions and ways of doing things. I am not saying you have to agree with or like the changes, I am just saying you need to at least be willing to find out more before totally dismissing something because it is not what you are used to.This involves taking a risk but again, risk taking is essential in life if you want to make progress and be successful.

By maintaining a way of being that is open to change, you keep the doors open to opportunities that you would otherwise would not be aware of. By taking risks and trying new things, you discover things about yourself, others and the world that you would have never known and often this new knowledge proves to be extremely useful.

So today, think about all the areas in your life where you resist change, open your mind and in the words of Sainsburys "try something new today". You never know, you might just like it. ;)

Love Live Life

Redundancy - Blessing or Curse?

2010-11-02T13:36:00.000Z

Maybe there are rumours in your company of redundancy or you've been offered/applied for redundancy or you've already been made redundant, either way no doubt you will be experiencing a wealth of emotions right now. If you haven't already read my previous blog about finances I suggest you do so before reading this one. The reason for this is that most people's number one concern is finance and if you have not yet carried out an honest review of your finances you will not be able to objectively and honestly do this next stage as your sub-conscious will be frantically worrying about and calculating your finances.

After reviewing your finances, you should now have a clearer picture of how big a "risk" you are able to take or at least you are comfortable taking. Now you know this, you can now take a good look at where you're at now.

Seeing redundancy as a blessing or curse is a matter of where you're mind is at and your view of the world right now. Even if you've been sitting tight for years waiting for an offer of redundancy to come along, it can still be a very daunting prospect and if you do not approach it pro-actively it is very easy to slip into what I call "victim" mode when your redundancy utopia doesn't quite end up looking the same as it did in your dream.

No matter what stage you're at on the redundancy spectrum, in order to view it as a blessing, you need to make an accurate assesment of the way you feel or felt about your job before redundancy was even mentioned. Ask yourself how you feel about the following:

Waking up in the morning for work
Your colleagues and the teams you work/worked with
Your boss/manager and the management team
Your desk and office space (size, layout, necessary equipment, comfort, temperature, etc)
The actual building you work in and it's location
Your daily commute
Your day to day tasks
The reward, recognition and benefits from the company
Anything else about your working environment

Consider the positives and negatives of each.

A few more things to consider are:

How do/did you feel on a sunday afternoon/evening (or whichever day of the week is your day off)?
If you have not yet been made redundant but redundancy is on the horizon, how do you feel about the prospect of losing your job?
If you have been made redundant, how do you now feel about losing your job? Do you feel differently about your job than when you were actually still doing it?

Answering these questions will enable you to gain clarity which will give you control over how you deal with redundancy and will empower you to see redundancy as a blessing, no matter what your circumstances. Generally people feel like victims when they feel helpless and as though they have no control over their lives. If you are clear about exactly how you feel and what you want, you are in a better position to put a plan together and take control of your life. Many people panic when they are made redundant or face the prospect of being made redundant. Taking time to really think about where you are and where you want to be can eliviate some of the stress and worry that comes with even just the mention of the word redundancy.

Change is a part of life and often change happens whether or not we want it or are ready for it. So do what you can now to be as ready as you can be. Even if you're not facing redundancy, there is no such thing as a job for life anymore so it is a useful exercise for anyone to do. If you are unhappy in your job, then you too need to be doing the exercises and assessing where you are at and where you want to be. You may not feel that now is the right time to make your move, but you can at least prepare for it.

Please feel free to share some or all of your answers to the questions in this blog so others can benefit from your experience.

Love Live Life

Public Sector Workers - Planning Your Finances For Redundancy

2010-10-21T15:35:00.000+01:00

Most of you will have heard the confirmation that thousands of public sector workers are to lose their jobs as a result of the government spending reviews. This sure to arouse a variety of feelings among all public sector workers. Some of you may be feeling angry, others may be feeling scared and anxious while others may be feeling relieved. You may think I've lost the plot when I say some public sector workers will be feeling relieved, however you will be surprised at the number of people who have been sitting in a job they hate, feeling trapped waiting for someone to come along and offer them the redundancy key to freedom. Whatever you are feeling, your feelings are valid and a natural reaction and no matter how you feel about the recent announcement, there is nothing you can do to reverse the decision.

Life is constantly changing which means your life constantly change and whether you like it or not and whether or not you are ready, change will happen. In this particular situation, you have been given advanced warning as the potential changes that lie ahead in your future. The harsh reality is that you may lose your job however you are now in a position to be proactive, consider all your options and put plans in place.

Most people's number one concern when faced with the possibility of losing their job is their financial situation which is what we are going to look at in this blog.

Depending on the length of time you have been in your job, you may be entitled to a redundancy payout, however considering the current cuts, you cannot rely on the amount being what you first agreed to when starting in your job. Even if you have been in your job for a number of years and receive a relatively large payout, you need to remember that unemployment figures are already high and there will be thousands of you being made redundant at the same time. Therefore although I am a great believer that if you want a job, you can get one, the reality is that you may need to use your redundancy payout to live off for a few months, maybe more.

3 Steps To Preparing Your Finances

1. Review your savings

Do you have any savings? If so, how long would they last you if in the worst case scenario you received minimum amount of redundancy pay?
Can you afford to start putting some money away now? If so, work out how much (see step 2) and set up a standing order with your bank.

2. Review your current outgoings.

Identify essential outgoings that will need to be paid regardless if you have an income or not such as mortgage, gas, electricity and grocery shopping.
Identify luxury spending that can be cut if necessary and find out if you are able to downgrade your services (such as Internet, phone, satellite/cable TV subscriptions) and whether or not you are in a fixed period contract with them and if you wish to cancel if there is a cancellation fee. Other luxury spending could be gym membership, magazine subscriptions, clothes or gadget shopping, etc.

(www.moneysavingexpert.com has a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet that can help you do this step: http://images2.moneysavingexpert.com/attachment/budget_planner.xls)

3. Calculate the minimum income you can survive on

If you are made redundant and wish to continue in the same career, by planning in advance and being proactive, ideally you will be able to secure another job on a similar income. However, planning involves preparing for worst case scenarios therefore it is important to know how much you are able to take a cut in pay by, if necessary.

There are many other factors that you will need to consider and plan for regarding possible redundancy which will be looked at in upcoming blogs. In the meantime, set aside some time to really look at your finances and get a clear idea of your situation. This will also help if you are offered voluntary redundancy which normally gives you a very short time to apply. By reviewing your finances now, you will be able to make your decision confidently.

Love Live Life

Something nice to share...

2010-10-15T14:33:00.001+01:00

Someone sent this to me and I liked it so much I wanted to share it. I am not sure who wrote it so I apologise in advance for not crediting them. I did not write it, like I said it was sent to me and I wanted to share.

When i woke up this morning in bed, I asked myself "What is life all about and what are some of the secrets of success in life?"

The answers are right there in your room:

The Fan said - Be cool. The Roof said - Aim high. The Window said - See the world. The Clock said - Every minute is precious. The Mirror said - Reflect before you act. The Calendar said - Be up to date. The Door said - Push hard for your goals. And don't forget, the Carpet said - Kneel down and pray. Carry a Heart that never Hates. Carry a Smile that never Fades. Carry a Touch that never Hurts.

Love Live Life

Forgive, Learn and Let Go

2010-10-15T13:13:00.000+01:00

Forgive and forget? I say forgive, learn the lesson and let go. Many people believe that in order to forgive someone you must also forget what that person did. However it is basic human nature to remember which explains why it so difficult to forget when we feel someone has wronged us. This notion of "forgive and forget" is often what stops so many of us moving forward as we believe we cannot have one without the other and as it is so difficult as humans to forget we don't forgive either.

When you don't forgive someone for something, you are holding on to a number of negative emotions which are both mentally and physically damaging to your health such as anger, resentment and hatred. Don't get me wrong, sometimes if you feel repeatedly wronged by someone and for some reason you find it near impossible to get that person out of your life, these feelings can actually help give you the strength and determination to eliminate that person from your life. However, what then happens for many of us is that once that person is out of our lives, we don't eliminate the negative emotions and we feel that we have to hold on to them otherwise we might let them back in or it excuses the pain and hurt they have caused us. Once that person is out of your life and you feel strong enough to move on with your life, it is time to stop, look at situation objectively and do whatever it is you need to do to let go of the negative emotions you associate with that person.

As hard as it is to accept, we all have our own journeys in this life and no matter how personal it feels at the time, when someone wrongs us, it is actually never about us, it is about them and what they are going through. This by no means excuses someone from treating another badly, however it is what it is. We are all human and we all do it at some point in our lives. So look at the situation, realise that that person is dealing with whatever it is they are dealing with and that your part in their life has come to an end. For some this may be a sad realisation, for others it may be a relief, either way it is time to let go of that person and the negative feelings you have associated with them.

When you do not forgive, years can go by and you believe you're living your life, getting on with things, and that you are "over" whatever wrong that person did to you, however, negative emotions if held onto will manifest themselves in different ways such as migraines, ulcers, back pain, depression, lack of concentration, etc. which is why it is so important to let go. Many people think that letting go and forgiving is another way of saying "what you did to me is OK" and for them that is a step to far. Another way to look at it is, you wronged me because you are going through things in your life, however I am the most important person in my life and I will not damage my health by holding onto negative emotions towards you.

I am a strong believer that everything that happens in our lives happens for a reason and although it can take years to realise what the reason was, the reason always becomes clear in the end. I also believe that hard times make us stronger and prepare us for greater more challenging and rewarding times. So although the reason a person wronged you may not be clear at the time, it will become clear and the sooner you let go of negative emotions, the sooner the reason becomes clear because you clear the way to view the situation with clarity and often you will see that actually it was never about the other person and it was about much needed growth in your own life. Staying in relationships or situations that keep us playing small and do not stretch or challenge us are actually a frequent excuse for people not to reach their full potential and realise their dreams. It is a "valid reason" why they do not "do" harder and "be" more in life and holding onto negative emotions gives us the fall back of blaming others that have wronged us. Your life is your responsibility and if you want something you have to go out there and take it, no matter what your circumstances. At the same time, a person that has wronged you also has responsibility for their life and therefore they must also make the decisions they feel are right for them at the time.

Life is a funny thing which none of us have figured out. There is a saying that people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime and it is so true. Not everyone is meant to be in our lives forever, even if we want them to be, if they are not part of the bigger picture for our life, they will leave whether we want them to or not. Sometimes it will be painful, sometimes it will be mind-blowing. In the same way, some people are meant to be in our lives forever but just not for every single day from birth to death. We all have long lost friends, close friends we can rely on but speak to or see only a few times a year. Some people break up go their separate ways and make up years down the line. Others meet their "soul mate" later in life and spend every moment from the point of meeting together until they die. There are no rules, there is just life. It happens the way it does and none of us know why, we just know it does.

So rather than waste precious time holding onto negative emotions and slowly damaging your mental and physical well being, wish the one you feel has wronged you well on their journey and remember when you feel you have been wronged, forgive, learn the lesson, let go and move on.

Love Live Life

Stop waiting for something to happen!

2010-10-04T17:29:00.001+01:00

I think there comes a point in each of our lives, where we stop to look at our lives and ask "what is the point?", "what is the meaning of life?", "what am I doing this all for?", etc. For me this point was triggered by 2 things, one was long term illness and the threat of "incapacity" resulting in the inability to do most things and the second was the fast approaching milestone that was my 30th birthday!

I am no different to most of you out there. It's either an illness, a life changing event such as a death of a loved one or the birth of a child or the approach of a milestone birthday (any age where the number ends in '0') that causes us to question what we have achieved in life so far, what we still want to achieve and whether our current lifestyle is taking us closer to or further from the things we want from life. As we get older and our sense of mortality becomes more apparent, we start to prioritise the things that are important to us and the people and causes that really matter to us. As work typically consumes most of the time in our adult lives, it is only natural that along with relationships, our job/career is what we look at and realise is a major cause of unhappiness in our lives.

There are many reasons why so many of us find ourselves in jobs/careers that we do not enjoy. Misleading careers advice, a part-time/temporary "in the meantime" job turned permanent, lack of skills and qualifications, family commitments, financial commitments are just some of the reasons we find ourselves stuck in a job we hate. Many of us have been conditioned to stay safe, stick with what you know and avoid taking risks so the prospect of changing jobs can be daunting, never mind changing careers altogether or going from employed to self-employed. The thought alone is too scary for a lot of people and because of that they remain unhappy at work.

The reason most people remain in unhappy in their jobs is because they are paralysed by fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of making the wrong decision, etc. Feelings of fear are totally understandable and expected however they can be reduced and managed through careful research, planning and risk management.

Luckily, most of us get at least one opportunity to stop and look at our lives and re-evaluate what it is that is important to us and normally that involves looking at our job and deciding if it fits with what matters most to us. More often than not the two do not match and you're left seriously considering leaving your job or totally changing careers.

If you are unhappy in your current job or career, don't wait until something major happens to force you to make a change, start the process now. Look at what you enjoy in your current job and what exactly you dislike about your job. This will help you to identify what to look for and avoid in your next job or career. It will also help you to identify whether it is your current job or the job sector that is the issue and whether a job move or career change is required.

When at a career crossroad, approach it as you would an actual road:
- Press the button at the pedestrian crossing to cross the road and watch for traffic (prepare and do your research)
- If the road is completely clear cross without waiting for the green man (calculate and plan for risks/possible obstacles)
- If the road isn't clear, wait for the green man then cross (plan your exit/move and be open to opportunities)
- Walk across to the other side of the road and continue with your journey (take action and make it happen).

Love Live Life

The Best Things Come In Small Packages...

2010-09-28T12:33:00.003+01:00

Being only 5ft tall (or short) and having a petite frame, I have always been an advocate of most things small and can be regularly heard saying "The best things come in SMALL packages" and "Every LITTLE helps"! However, it recently occured to me that I had not adopted this view when it came to my achievements and contributions. We live in a society where big is considered better and everything is large scale. 50" televisions, multi-packs, Costco, etc. and often small things which are just as useful, if not more practical for our purpose are overlooked. I realised that although I probably wasn't as guilty of this as a consumer but like I said, I was definitely guilty of this mindset when it came to my contributions and achievements. I often overlooked any of the small achievements as insignificant and sometimes not even considering them to be worthwhile. Additionally, I consider myself to be quite a giving person and I regular offer help, advice and support to friends, family, friends of friends as well as colleagues. Whenever someone comes to me with an issue or idea I'll always be thinking, who do I know that can help. Until now I didn't even acknowledge this and overlooked it as just part of my personality. At the same I was desperate to make an impact on the community, particular with young people and to grow my business. I have a vision of what I want my contribution and company to look like and I am aware that it is a long term vision. However, what I had failed to see was that all the little things are my stepping stones to my bigger vision. Also, many of the little things I do actually do have a huge impact on the people I come into contact with.

So what was the trigger. When my 16 year old sister's friends were contacting her to speak to me and ask me for advice on their university applications and personal statements. It occured to me that to me offering them 5-10mins of my time was nothing for me but for them it had huge implications for their future. I also realised that this was not the first time my sister and her friends had called on me for information and advice and that actually I had been doing it for years and not even realised the positive impact I had had on them.

How many of us contribute so much on a regular basis but don't take the time to acknowledge the contribution we have made and instead beat ourselves up because we are not taking over the world and being recognised globally for our contributions and achievements. Why should anyone else recognise what we do and give when we don't recognise it ourselves. When you drop a tiny pebble in a huge lake, how far out do the ripples go. We need to look at our contributions and achievements in the same way.

Today write a list of all the SMALL contributions you have made in the last month. The people you have helped, the advice you have given, the money you have donated, etc. The make a list of the SMALL achievements you have made. Money you managed to save, the 2lbs you managed to lose, the book you read, finally tidying that cupboard, etc. This will help you to see how much you do and if you do that in just a month, imagine how much more you have done over the year that you have completely ignored. The little things really do count.

Love Live Life

Tweet Tweet

2010-07-16T10:56:00.003+01:00

In an attempt to increase my online presence for LL Coaching, I have started tweeting, blogging and making regular updates to my Facebook status. I must say I am quite enjoying it. Twitter is also good practice for perfecting that "elevator speech" as you are limited to 140 characters so you have no choice but to be concise.

I can see how it could become a distraction and possibly even an addiction which is why I have consciously limited the number of times a day I tweet and how many blogs I post a week. Social networking can be an extremely powerful way to market yourself or your business but that only works if you're taking care of all the other aspects of your business. Think about the results you will get from social media and then dedicated the relative amount of time to it.

As well as business, social media can be a great way for an individual to let the world know what you do and what you have to offer. Remember however that anyone anywhere can read what you tweet or post and that when something is read, it makes that piece of text open to the interpretation of the person reading it.

To some, at first social media can seem quite confusing, intrusive and overwhelming. The trick is to find someone who is already using Twitter, a blog, Facebook etc. (young people are always good sources) and ask them to give you a whistlestop tour.

Like I said, I am still new to this so I am still developing my writing style and deciding what sorts of things to write and tweet about. However, in the spirit of not putting off until tomorrow what you can do today and being in action, I have decided to just start and have faith that the rest will come naturally.

So if you've been thinking about blogging or tweeting, go for it! Remember to limit your time so it doesn't take over your life, be conscious of what you have written and therefore ensure you're happy for anyone to read it and finally have fun with it!

Love Live Life

31 Million Pound Inspiration

2010-07-15T18:03:00.004+01:00

Today I was speaking with a guy that worked at a well known educational institute. He told me that while he was working there, a couple donated £31 million!!! It took me a few minutes for me to digest the amount he had said. Firstly because that is a lot of money. Secondly because I donate money to a number of charities every month and normally people donate what they can comfortably spare to charity. This got me thinking that if they could comfortably afford to donate £31 million to anyone, then they must be sitting on a huge fortune! Then I found out how he made his fortune. It wasn't rocket science. I mean it was very specific to a particular industry but it was something anyone could have thought of. That invention was patented and almost every person in the world uses this guy's invention.

Recently I have had a large number of ideas floating around in my head, some better than others. What the conversation today has made me realise is not to filter my ideas and to treat each of them as viable as the next one until I have researched them. And that is the difference between someone who donates £3 a month to a charity and someone who donates £31 million in one lump sum! The second person is the one that has an idea, researches it, nurtures it, works day and night on it and never gives up.

So if you have an idea or two floating around in your head, be open minded and do some research to see if there is a viable market for it. I mean not every idea is going to be worth millions or even billions, however it might just be enough to let you become self employed, or pay for that holiday you've been wanting to go on but can't afford. Who knows...

Remember you are in control of your life and you are sitting on at least one valuable talent, skill or bit of knowledge. Start thinking about what that could be and then start brainstorming ways you could create an income from that and maybe even become an millionaire or even billionaire! Anything is possible!

Love Live Life

The Joys of Self Employment

2010-07-14T12:31:00.008+01:00

Sitting in a cafe, writing my blog and doing some work. If someone would have told me I'd be doing this 18 months ago I would never have believed them. However this is exactly what I am doing. This is all part of the joys of being self employed. Being self employed gives me the freedom to work where I want, when I want. Yes there are more risks associated with being self employed and in the start up stages and actually all the way through you have to work harder if you want your business to be successful, but having the freedom self employment gives you is like nothing you can ever experience as an employee. It is also extremely rewarding to know that the results you are getting are as a direct result of the work you have put in. This also acts as great feedback when the results you are getting are not so positive, it means you're not doing enough or you need to do something slightly, or maybe even drastically different.

So if you're in your in a job you hate or maybe a job you don't mind but don't feel valued or like the work you put is a reflection of the results you're getting or probably more relevant, the salary you're getting, think about what else you could be doing. I realise self employment is not for everyone but there may be another job within your company, in another company or another industry that would better suit your skills and give you a better feeling of reward and satisfaction at the end of each day.

Love Live Life

Mind Your Own Business

2010-07-12T15:21:00.005+01:00

Normally when someone tells you to "mind your own business" you attach negative connotations to it and interpret it as something negative. The fact is in order to be successful in life, recognise and develop your own talents and achieve your goals, you need to be fully focused on your own business and avoid becoming distracted by everyone else's business.

Too often we are so involved in other people's lives and judging what they should or shouldn't be doing, we lose focus on our own lives and become miserable and sometimes even start playing the "blame" game or the the "green-eyed monster" game.

The only way to achieve success in your life is to be clear about what it is you want, take total responsibility for everything that happens in your life and to mind your own business.

We have all heard that the new government is set to axe 600,000 jobs in the public sector and for the majority that keep their jobs, their pay will be frozen for the next 2 years. Now I am almost certain that many of those who will lose their jobs or have their pay frozen have hated their jobs for years and actually dream of the opportunity to do something new. However, many of these people will do nothing between now and the time they receive their P45 to change that and once they receive their P45 will start playing the "blame" game and will no doubt be heard saying things like "it's so unfair", "it's all the governments fault", "it's my manager's fault for not fighting hard enough to keep me" and so on.

On the other hand, I am also certain that there are many of you out there that have already been made redundant, or are at risk of being made redundant that see it as an opportunity and would like to take advantage of the opportunity that has come your way. At the same time, I am sure there are those of you who have remained in companies that have been downsized and would like to put in place a plan to ensure that when the company starts growing again, you are in pole position for a promotion into the new positions that will open up.

We are living in very uncertain times due to the global economic situation. This makes it even more important to mind your own business and take care of you. You can be sure that whatever company you work for, they will be doing just that, minding their own business and doing what is best for the company so it is vital you are prepared and have a plan in place based on what it is you want in life. Plan for all scenarios:

- you get made redundant: Do you want to continue doing the same role? Do you want to stay in the same industry? Do you want to change careers completely? Do you want to become self-employed?

- you keep your job: Are you happy in your job? Are you happy in that industry? Are you making the most of your skills and talents? Are you ready for a promotion? Do you want to change careers completely? Do you want to become self-employed?

Either way, it is important you assess your current situation and ask yourself what it is you really want to do. What are you passionate about? What are your talents? If money wasn't an option what would you do/be/have? You do not have to wait to be made redundant to start doing what it is you really want to do. At the same time, being made redundant does have to mean the job centre and beans and toast for the foreseeable future if you have a plan and take action on that plan.

Get in touch with us today to start your career coaching and work on a plan to get you doing what you are passionate about and living the life you've always dreamed of.

Leanne
www.llcoaching.co.uk
Live Life!

Stop other things getting in your way – Recognise and remove distractions

2010-05-26T16:13:00.000+01:00

If you have read my previous blog, you will have read about how constraining living in your comfort zone can be and how it can not only lead to negative emotions, but also how it can stunt your personal growth and stop you from making progress towards achieving your goals.

This blog is about the second realisation I had – how many things in my everyday life were so distracting that they were causing me to lose sight of my goals and as a result lack motivation and settle back into my comfort zone.

About nine months ago I purchased a Blackberry. It was the new craze and although I’m not one to purchase something simply because the rest of the world has, after looking at it’s functionality I believed having a Blackberry would provide benefits and efficiency to my business and personal life. Not only can I make and receive calls and text messages, I can also surf the internet, listen to music and take photos. In addition, I can receive emails from all four of my email accounts straight to my phone which means I can respond to people anywhere at anytime. I can download useful (and useless) applications, I can maintain my online profile by updating my status on Facebook and Twitter and I can also stay in touch with friends via the Blackberry Instant Messenger. Initially, my Blackberry was my favourite gadget and appeared to be very useful however, what I recently realised is that although it enables me to become more efficient; I had allowed it to become a complete distraction. I realised that every time I received an email or instant message, I would open it immediately, no matter what I was doing, despite it’s importance. This often proved extremely time consuming if it was an instant message because 30-40mins could pass from open the initial message to the end of the actual conversation.

Saturday I realised just what a distraction my Blackberry had become. My Blackberry is just as useful as I had originally thought and does have the ability to make my business and personal life more efficient. However, I have allowed my Blackberry to distract me. I recognised that each time I respond to a call, text or instant message, I am saying that the work I am doing is not as important and that in effect my goals are not as important. I also realised that the reason I felt compelled to respond instantly was because I didn’t want anyone to feel like I was ignoring them. However when I took the time to think about it, I realised that I was putting other people’s needs before my own and that actually I had put that demand on myself.

“Technology... is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other.” – Carrie P. Snow

Another major distraction in my life is my immediate family. For years I have always felt responsible for making sure all disagreements were resolved and that everyone was happy. As you can imagine doing this for one person is draining, let alone doing if for 2 adults and a teenager! And I don’t even live with them! Recently there have been more disagreements than usual and it has felt like everyday there has been some disagreement or another for me to resolve, leaving me feeling emotionally drained with no energy to focus on my own personal goals. At the forum I attended on Saturday, my coach Lorlett said something that really struck a nerve regarding my family. She said that although some people come to you with their problems, they don’t always want a solution. Suddenly it all made sense. My family constantly come to me with their frustrations and disagreements and as much advice and support as I give them, nothing changes and the cycle continues. Lorlett’s comment made me realise that actually this is their pattern of behaviour and that actually I am spending so much of my time and energy trying to provide solutions to problems it appears they don’t actually want to solve.

“There is no use whatever trying to help people who do not help themselves. You cannot push anyone up a ladder unless he is willing to climb himself.” - Andrew Carnegie

Suddenly I saw a vision of how much more time and energy I could have if I eliminated the two major distractions in my life. Firstly I simply turned off the instant messenger alert tone on my Blackberry and I now leave it in the other room or put it on silent if I am working on something important. Secondly, I made the decision to stop exhausting so much time and energy providing a solution to my family’s disputes and leave them to find solutions for themselves, if and when they really want to.

So how can you get rid of the distractions in your everyday life? Here are a few suggestions:

Calculate your “time expenditure”

Take one full day and make a note of every time you make, send or receive a call, text or email that is not related to your job/business/goal. If you use an instant messenger on your phone or on your laptop or PC, note exactly how long you spend having “social” conversations. If you use social networking sites or surf the internet, note exactly how long you spend “networking” or “surfing” (and by networking I mean making comments and looking at “friend’s” photos and profile comments). At the end of the day total up all the time you have “spent” doing these things. I guarantee this will be a real eye-opener and will be a visual indicator of just how much valuable time you are wasting.

Identify your number one distraction

This could be your phone/smartphone just as it was for me. It could be the internet. If you work from home it could be your partner, pet, friend, children or another family member. If you work in an office, it could be a colleague, smoking/tea/coffee breaks or the snack machine.

Make a change

Often a small change can make a huge difference. Just by turning my phone to silent, I now have more time to invest in achieving the things that are most important to me. Once I have finished those things I am then free to chat with friends without feeling distracted, resentful or stressed about the things I need to do but haven’t. If you work from home and it’s a distraction at home, trying working in the library or a local coffee shop. Think of a small change you can make that will to stop you from sub-consciously being distracted.

Put First Things First

On Sunday evening, make a list of all the things you want to achieve for the week. For each day of the week write the tasks or actions you will take. At the start of each day, and throughout the day remind yourself of the tasks or actions for the day. Each time you do something new, ask yourself these two questions:

1. Have I accomplished my tasks and actions for the day?
2. Will this move me towards or away from my overall goal?

If the answer is no, then stop what you are doing and go back to your list of tasks and actions for the day.

“Say no to anything that is not a high-value use of your time and your life.” - Brian Tracy

Stop getting in your own way - Step out of your comfort zone

2010-05-26T12:15:00.001+01:00

The past few weeks I have lacked motivation and felt frustrated as I have not been making much progress towards my goals. I tried a number of things to re-ignite my motivation to achieve my goals but everything I tried seemed to be short-lived.

However, the past 3 days, two things happened to re-ignite my motivation. The first was attending the One Hand Can’t Clap monthly forum on Saturday. Attending the forum always leaves me feeling inspired and starts me thinking about actions I need to take in my own life and listening to the speaker’s stories always inspires me. Listening to the speakers this Saturday made me realise the two main reasons for my lack of progress. Firstly, the past few weeks I have settled into my comfort zone. Secondly, I have some major distractions in my daily life.

In this blog I will talk about how settling into my comfort zone has restricted my progress in achieving my goals. I will talk about the affect of the distractions in a separate blog.

So, you may be asking, what is wrong with settling into your comfort zone? We all like to be comfortable don’t we? Well, that maybe true when talking about a sofa or an airplane seat or even a mattress, however, with regards to making progress in life and achieving our goals, our comfort zone can act more like a prison and cause enormous discomfort in the medium to long term. And sometimes as with me, even in the short term.

Since making the decision to take voluntary redundancy a year ago, I can say that since then, the majority of the time I have been living outside of my comfort zone. I left a job and an industry where I was on a salary that was guaranteed every month and meant I could live a comfortable lifestyle. I knew the job well and could do my job comfortably. It was a relatively easy commute so I was also comfortable getting to and from work. I had lots of friends there so actually being at work was comfortable. However, I didn’t actually enjoy the work I was doing anymore and so when the offer of voluntary redundancy came up, although I was extremely comfortable in my job, I had to take a huge leap out of my comfort zone to try and find something that would make me happy.

I have been living outside of my comfort zone now for the best part of a year. The first four months after taking redundancy were the most uncomfortable for me. My initial feelings were freedom and excitement however these quickly became diluted and almost washed away with fear and anxiety. Had I made the right decision? What if I didn’t get another job? After all the country was in the middle of a recession! I had people asking me daily if I had found a job yet but I wasn’t looking for another full time job – was that a mistake? Luckily I have a wonderful coach – Lorlett Hudson, Director of One Hand Can’t Clap – who supported me through the whole process from making the decision to take the redundancy. She helped me to find clarity about what it was I wanted and reminded me of the reasons I chose to take redundancy. To setup my own business, be my own boss, design and live my life according to my rules and most importantly maintain my health and become financially free.

So with Lorlett’s support I continued to live outside of my comfort zone. This meant I had to do things I never had to do before, like look for work opportunities in the completely new areas of education and youth work. I began networking and talking to people about what I wanted to do. I began looking for opportunities in the area of youth and education. Once I embraced living outside of my comfort zone, opportunities started appearing. I was given the opportunity to work in a Youth Offending Team as a mentor for 12 weeks by Genevieve Knight, Director of MYPAL. During this time I met Steve Beckles-Ebusua, Director of Serious Intentions and as a result delivered a programme for Steve in a school for 12 weeks once we finished work at the Youth Offending Team. Through the work in the school I met Olivia Flaxman, Director of Oliviaworks. Olivia’s partner owns a company, Future Foundations, that delivers personal development programmes to young people and next week I am attending a meeting to find out about providing coaching and mentoring for their programmes. The major thing that happened was that I applied for a job in a school as an Aimhigher Coordinator. Two other candidates were interviewed for the job and they both had years of experience teaching and advising young people on careers – I had no school experience. I was offered the job and as a result I am now studying a Post Graduate Careers Guidance certificate, fully funded by the school and will be doubling my hours to support the implementation of a careers guidance strategy for the sixth form.

These are just some of the opportunities that have presented themselves to me since making the decision to step outside of my comfort zone. The most important consequence of stepping out of my comfort zone is my personal growth. I have grown so much as a person and I have not only developed many of my existing skills, I have also learned many new skills, which as a result opens up even more opportunities.

For me, that is the most important thing about stepping out of your comfort zone. As long as you remain in your comfort zone you stop growing. You become so comfortable that you do not think to try anything new and even if you do, you are too scared to try because it involves stepping outside of your comfort zone. However, as was the case for me, there is such a thing as being TOO comfortable and when this happens, you actually become UNcomfortable. You become unhappy, frustrated, angry and resentful. Sometimes this can be enough to push you out of your comfort zone, however for most this is when our comfort zone becomes a prison because we are too scared to take that first step.

"If you stop searching, you stop living, because then you're dwelling in the past. If you're not reaching forward to any growth or future, you might as well be dead." -Wynn Bullock

This is what has happened to me recently. I had no urgent need to earn money. I had no immediate need to gain another contract or job. So I became comfortable. Instead of taking another step forward, I took a step back and that step took me back into my comfort zone. This is because your comfort zone never leaves you. It is always just one step behind you. Don’t get me wrong, we all have days when all we want to do is be comfortable, take a break, rest and take our foot of the accelerator. This is normal. However, you have to be careful that you do not stay in your comfort zone for too long otherwise the fear of moving forward will set in again and your comfort zone will again become a prison.

So what can you do to get start moving in the right direction again and find the courage to take that step forward out of your comfort zone?

Well, this brings me onto the second thing that happened to me. Monday was the most beautiful day, possibly the hottest day of the year so far. It followed a day that was just as, if not more beautiful than Monday. Sunday evening many of my friends were complaining that they had to go to work the next day and that Monday was going to be the last hot day we would have for the foreseeable future and so were understandably unhappy about having to go to work and be stuck in the office all day. I did not feel like this at all as I knew due to the way I had now designed my life it meant that as long as I had my laptop, my office could be wherever I wanted it to be and on Monday I chose for my office to be in the garden. I spent most of Monday working in the garden, enjoying the beautiful weather. I stopped to read my book and top up my tan now and then and not once did I worry that my lunch break was almost over or that the boss was going to pull me up about being out in the sun too long. This alone was enough to remind me why I had chosen to take that huge step outside of my comfort zone and re-ignited the motivation I needed to take the necessary actions to start making progress towards my goals again.

This is a very important point to note. As I said earlier in this blog, I had tried many things to re-ignite my motivation which had worked in the short term but there is a major difference between feeling motivated and being motivated to take action.

"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy." - Dale Carnegie

So how do you take that all important step out of your comfort zone and how do you maintain the motivation to keep moving forward? Here are a few things that work for me:

Know what you want and why you want it. What will it give you?

This is vital. Write down your goals and for each goal ask yourself why you want to achieve that goal and exactly what it will give you. For example, “I want to be financially free because it will give me the freedom to spend less time working and more quality time with my family by taking them out for nice meals.” Once you have all your goals written down and know why you want them, look at them every day to remind yourself why you are doing what you’re doing.

Practice and make it real

For me, that day in the garden is what really worked. Regularly give yourself a “day in the life of your future”. So if one of your goals is financial freedom so you can spend more quality time with your family having nice meals. Once a month take your family out for a nice meal. This will give you the actual feeling you are striving for and will make you want it more.

Get yourself a coach and surround yourself with people who share your passion for success and that are actually taking action towards achieving that success

As I said above, having Lorlett as a coach not only gives me support when I am lacking confidence or doubting my own ability. She also helps me gain clarity about why it is I’m doing what I’m doing. Attending her monthly forum surrounds me with like-minded people who are all in action moving forward to achieve their own personal goals. Talking to them and hearing their stories are inspirational and motivate me to also achieve my personal goals and give me the belief that I can.

"If you have the courage to step outside of your comfort zone, you will not only be amazed by the marvel and sights of the world, but also with the wonders that lay deep within yourself" - Rosanna Ienco

Give thanks!

2010-04-15T18:46:00.000+01:00

The fact that you are reading this blog means you already have a lot to be thankful for. It means you woke up this morning and had a world of opportunities available to you. It means you have internet access, either at home, on your mobile phone, or even both! It means you almost certainly have a roof over your head, access to heat, hot water and hot food. That's already more than 5 reasons that anyone reading this instantly has to be thankful for. Too often in life we focus on what we don't have and forget about the small things that make a major difference to our quality of life.

So many people I come across on a daily basis are unhappy with their lives. To be honest, I even have days where I think, what's the point and life sucks! So many people are striving to be rich, powerful and successful and we don't realise how much wealth and power we already possess. If you take the time to actually look at your life and what you have you will be able to see this for yourself. Of course there are "big" things in life that we'd all like to achieve however, rather than delaying out happiness until we have those big things, we can be happy now just by acknowledging how much we already have. Family, friends, a career, somewhere to live, a car, money for food, to pay the bills and a little treat every now and then, to name but a few. Many of us have gym membership we don't use, clothes and shoes we don't wear and regularly enjoy take aways, eating out and holidays abroad. If you're reading this it means you can actually read which means you've been educated and have free access to thousands, if not millions of books via libraries. Knowledge is power, yet how many of you read or utilize the free resources available to you? I could go on and yes it's true, some of us have more than others but the basics are the same for us all and it's often the case that those with the most are actually the ones that are most unhappy with their lives. This is because many people measure their success and happiness by the material things they possess and wonder why they never feel truly fulfilled. True fulfillment does not coming from material things, or anything external for that matter. True fulfillment comes from being true to yourself and honoring your purpose in life.

Time to take action: Schedule some quiet time to yourself, at least 30 mins. Take a pen and some paper and make a list of all the good you have in your life right now. Everything! Once you have completed your list, keep it by your bed and every night before you go to bed and every morning before you wake up, read it. That way no matter how your day went or how it goes, you'll always be reminded of all the good you have in your life and how wealthy you already are.

Live Life!

A House Is Not A Home

2010-03-29T20:57:00.000+01:00

Here is a talk I wrote for a housing organisation when I first started life coaching. I am now currently working with a housing trust to provide work placements for the young people supported by the trust and thought this is just as relevant today as it was almost two years ago when I originally wrote it.

The talk is discusses what I believe a home should provide and the role it plays in the development of young people.

There are 3 vital things a person needs to survive. They are food, water and shelter. A house represents the physical "shelter" that every person needs however, a home is the emotional "shelter" that is just as important to survival as the physical shelter a house provides.

A home is a place where a person feels safe, protected and loved. It is a place you go when you feel tired, sad, lonely or sick. It is a place where there are people to look after you and people you can look up to. It is a place you feel comfortable, where you can be yourself and where you are surrounded by things you like. Home is the one place you should feel completely happy and at peace.

Every young person needs somewhere and someone to go to, to feel safe. They all need someone they can turn to when they are in trouble or feel sad, scared or alone, as well as someone they can look up to. They also need someone they can share their joys and achievements with and someone who offers them encouragement, advice and support. Unfortunately, for some young people, the physical shelter of the house they live in does not offer them the emotional shelter of a home. Young people that do not have a "home" will seek this elsewhere. These include school clubs, friend's houses, older brothers and sisters as well as on the streets. This increases the risks of young people becoming targeted by gangs and older, not so desirable members of the community. For a number of young people, gangs offer them all the characteristics of a home – a place to feel safe, people they can look up to, people looking out for them and appearing to have their best interests at heart, as well as other people of a similar age experiencing the same emotions and life experiences.

For young people, home should be a place where they go and there is someone there to provide them with love, food and security; a place where there is someone who takes an interest in them and spends quality time with them as well as a place where they can identify with and feel that they belong. A home should also be a place where the young person learns about life and valuable life skills.

Values, beliefs and morals are built throughout a person’s life from the moment they are born and form the person they are today. They are formed via the influences of the people around them as well as by the way a person perceives their own experiences in life. Home is one of the main places a young person develops these personal traits. A home should be an environment that positively influences a young person’s values, beliefs and morals which then enables them to deal with everyday circumstances such as conflict resolution and understanding other people’s point of view as well as how to effectively manage their emotions. This increases the extent to which they can take control of their own lives and enables them to fulfil their potential and be confident, positive contributing members of society.

Growing up poses its own challenges for young people, and not having a home not only removes the support system that young people need to deal with these challenges, it poses additional challenges for them, challenges they are not equipped to deal with at a young age. This can cause a young person to feel alone, scared, resentful, angry as well as many other negative emotions. This is when they are at most at risk of forming their own negative and sometimes immoral values and beliefs which may not serve them in a positive or constructive way. It is also when they are most likely to start displaying negative behaviour to gain affection, recognition and attention. A lot of young people are impressionable and easily influenced and not having a home can also cause them to turn to other people outside of the home who may not be positive influences, as well as to drugs, alcohol or promiscuity.

And it doesn’t all disappear once the young people become adults. The negative influences of not having a home often follow young people into adult life. When it becomes time to setup their own homes, they often only know the home environment they grew up in, whether this be in a house with their parents or guardians, or on the streets with gangs. Either way they will incorporate the same behaviours and beliefs within their own home and with their own children. So unless young people are taught how to break negative thought patterns and behaviours, as well as vital life skills, the negative cycle will continue and more and more young people will grow up in a house not a home.

With the challenges that life poses today and the pressures of the western world, it is increasingly difficult to provide a home in every sense of the word. Ironically, now it is more important than ever for young people to have a home. For young people to develop into positive, happy and confident adults, they need to be nurtured just as plants need to be from seeds. They also need to be taught vital life skills to allow them to become leaders, not followers and enable them to fulfil their potential and make positive informed decisions about their lives and their futures. And a home provides the perfect environment for this.

I have been lucky enough to grow up with a home which I believe has been a major influence on what I have achieved in my life so far. Although I no longer live in the physical house I grew up in, my home is still as much a part of my life as it was when I was growing up and continues to positively influence my life.

Home is still the place I go to when I feel sad, upset or alone. It is the place I go to if I need to feel safe or need advice and support. It is the place I go to to share my successes and achievements and finally it is the place I know I can go to and truly be myself.

Welcome!

2010-03-28T23:57:00.001+01:00

Hello there.

Thank you for checking out the LL Coaching Blog.

This is where you can find regular updates on LL Coaching - views, opinions and latest projects.

If you find what you read interesting and useful, please feel free to add your comments.

Warmest wishes,
Leanne